For me, 2016 has been a hell of a year, a rollercoaster of emotions with a lot of big ups but also big downs. Although it hasn't always been easy and I may not always have been my usual happy, positive and energetic self, I've lived incredible moments, opportunities and new experiences with the most wonderful people by my side. It's been a year of learning and accepting, letting go and moving forward. But that's all part of the adventure of growing up, right?

The months of november and december were pretty rough, because our university was drowning us in papers, mid-term exams and presentations. I didn't have any time or energy to do other things or discover new places. My main views were the other students in the library, the metro on my way there and the four walls of my bedroom. I felt incredibly alone and all I wanted was a break and go home, to spend time with my friends and family at the seaside. These months eventually passed and one by one the school tasks were getting done. 

And once they were, it was time to start relaxing again. We went on day trips to nearby cities and monasteries, started to go to the city centre again and discover Madrid's hidden treasure, go out for tapas with our other German and Dutch friends, have Christmasdinner with my very international Erasmus family (yes, with Santa-hats and lots of wine), etc. We closed the semester exactly how we started it: by discovering and having fun in the heart of the Metropole. With midnight McFlurry's.

While I was struggling with my schoolwork in those months, I made myself a promise. This year, I was going to have real Christmasholidays. Technically, I have them every year, but you can't call them holidays if you have to study for finals 7/7. As I was way better prepared for my finals and I have less exams than I'm used to in Belgium, I decided that this year, the holidays were not going to be about studying. I was going to have holidays that deserved to be named holidays, and deeply enjoy the most wonderful time of the year for once. 

I went home for Christmas, where I finally could spend some lovely time with my dearest friends and family. When you're away for quite a while, what you miss the most are the little things. Christmasmarkets with folkloric games and shots, watching your favorite show together, the long walks on the beach with your mom, cooking dinner and staying up late to talk about everything that's on your mind, ... Although it was only a visit of a few days, it reloaded my inner batteries entirely (that's a Dutch expression, but I couldn't help translating it because nothing explains better what I mean). 

Back in Spain, I continued my holidays in my second home: Seville. Let me explain this quickly. In my last year of secondary school, I had the chance to participate in an exchange program with a Sevillian school. Not only did I immediately fell in love with that amazing city, since that week, my exchange partner and me also grew an unbreakable bond. Our personalities look so much alike, that we could easily be sisters. So, she invited my to celebrate New Year's Eve with her and her group of best friends in a rented house on the Spanish countryside. Even though I had no idea what to expect and I hadn't met her friends before, it turned out to be one of the best weeks of these 5 months in Spain. They all have amazing, funny and cheerful personalities and made me feel at home from day 1. After an afternoon of cooking -imagine 12 people running back and forth in a kitchen of 4 square meter-, the New Year's Eve dinner was something to be very proud of (and it had Belgian mussels!). After struggling with power failure (apparently it was impossible to switch on the oven without switching off all the electricity in the house) and stressing about a non-working TV, we managed to count down with the 12 strokes of the clock on Puerta del Sol. The Spanish tradition goes that you have eat a grape on every stroke, in order to have good luck in the next year. Well, guess this won't be my luckiest year, 'cause I ended up looking like a hamster with 12 uneaten grapes in my mouth because I didn't find the time to swallow them... The rest of the weekend was spend by playing karaoke or Fifa, listening to the guys playing guitar in the sun on the rooftop terrace, stargazing on the ruins of the castle on the hill, watching movies till 5am and singing the Guidetti Song. 

When we were back in Seville, my friend's father convinced me to stay a bit longer. So I ended up joining her to the library to study, visiting the wonderful royal castle of Seville -where Game of Thrones shot the Water Gardens of Dorne!- with her mom, watching football with her friends and enjoying the parade and family dinner of Three Kings' Day. 

I felt incredibly sad to leave, because although I stayed longer than planned, it still wasn't long enough. I mean, how can I not want to stay in a city where you can have lunch outside in the sun on the 3rd of January, where you can find palmtrees on every square, where the urban green are orange trees, where gin-tonic's cost €4, where I got to know an amazing group of friends that I miss since the day I've left and all this by the side of one of my favorite persons in the world? 

In the meantime that this new year is starting, I am slowly closing a very important chapter of my life: Erasmus. I've wanted this ever since I've known about studying abroad, and it's hard to imagine that these 5 months are already almost over. 

Am I going to miss Madrid? Honestly, I don't know. I'm definitely going to miss some people and some places, but in general, Madrid and I didn't bond that well. I love the Madrilenian (coffee) bars with incredibly cosy caves -blame my inner hipster-, the traditional architecture, the street musicians, my lovely Erasmus family, ... But I wasn't made for the big city life, and as one of my best friends said, maybe that's why Madrid isn't my place in the world. 

Am I going to miss Spain? Absolutely. I think there must be a little 'chica Española' hidden inside of me. I adore the language -my Spanish is still very basic, but I've managed to survive a week surrounded by Spaniards without losing my mind or feeling excluded, so that's a start- and I would love to improve it even more. I adapted myself pretty quickly to the Spanish rhythm: not rushing to get in time at school because the teacher will get in later than you anyway, having dinner at 9 or 10 pm -although I couldn't get used to lunching at 3pm, by that time I absolutely starved to death-, starting to go out after midnight, ... I love the tapas, the cheap and good wine (a coke may cost you more), the way how these Southerners get outside to meet in bars and restaurants instead of at home, the café con leche & tostadas de tomate, and obviously the wonderful weather. Even when it's cold, the sun is shining and you have a clear blue sky. I even got to the point where I appreciate the Reggaeton (which is the typical Spanish musics in clubs) and use the voice notes on WhatsApp. And in the end, of course, I'm definitely going to miss the €1-Sundays and -Wednesdays of 100 Montaditos (and their delicious cheeseballs with marmalade!). 

Am I happy that I did this? Most definitely. This experience may not have been what I expected it to be, but that's not necessarily negative. Even though I had the feeling that I knew pretty well who this young lady inside of me is, I think I needed to be outside of my comfort zone to get to know her better and to let her grow in her own way. And that wasn't only about making my own food, doing my own laundry & making my own appointments. It was also about learning to be alone, accepting to miss people and how to deal with it. About realizing what some of my dreams are and what I want to achieve in life, realizing what and who I really value and letting go of things and people that have been holding me back for way to long. 

And on top of all this deep stuff, I got to make lovely new friends,  discover new places, taste new dishes and learn a new language. I think that's something to be very grateful for!

Am I looking forward to go home? Yes. And a little bit no. I can't wait to be with my loved ones again, and I've got really exciting things ahead of me, next semester. Yet, everyone knows that once you got out of your safe haven, there will always be things, places and people that you miss, even when you're comfortably back home. But that's one of the perks of having a traveler's heart, and I already knew that. 

So, I guess this is it. Time to start the very last paragraph of this chapter. This semester was not only about finding myself, but it's also been about looking for a place to call 'home' wherever I am, and finding it in unexpected people and places. Infinite gratitude to everyone who stood by my side in this adventure, both at home as here. Hasta luego!